My baby turned 5!

Anna then (1-5-2003):





My Big Girl now (2008):

I took this birthday pretty hard as a mother. For me, 5 seems so grown up. Anna must be feeling the same way. She keeps telling me "I can do it by myself - I'm 5", "When can I do what I want to do - I'm 5 now, you know".

I can't believe how fast these years have gone by. I've heard from many, many people ever since I was pregnant with her that one day you'll blink and she'll be married. And I've taken that to heart. I've tried to cement each and every precious moment in my mind and heart because they are such a treasure. Even though I often struggle with my decision to stay home today I am more thankful than I can express for this blessed time that I've been able to share with her as her Mommy. This fall she'll be starting kindergarten and she'll be spending 30-40 hours a week under someone else's care and supervision. I'll have to trust that they are taking good care of my baby. And I know that her teachers and friends will become more important figures in her life and they will start to crowd the area in her life that has been solely occupied by her father and me. I only hope that I've done a good job this far teaching her at least the core values she'll need to be a happy, caring, and productive person. I'm not saying that I think my job is over - I know it is far from that. It's just that I've been paying attention to all of the advice I've been given about how we parent our children from birth to 5 can have the greatest influence on them throughout their lives.

I spent many years and worked very hard preparing for my career as a Behavior Analyst (and still do!). I thought that was the hardest thing I've ever done. Nothing could prepare me for my job as a parent. I could not have guessed how hard this would be. There is no mistaking that this is by far and wide the most amazing and rewarding thing I've done in my life but it is also by far and wide the hardest - emotionally, physically, you name it! I am thankful every day for this gift that I've been given (I can't believe God is trusting me with 3!) and every night I pray to God to help me to grow and do better the next day. I am by no means the best at this and I'm not "a natural" but I try to keep learning and growing so that I can give my children all that they deserve. By that I don't mean necessarily all the things that they want (e.g., all the Barbies in the world, candy galore, etc.) but the things that make them feel loved, secure, confident. When they look back at their childhood I hope their memories are filled with two parents who lavished them with their attention, hugs, and "I love yous". I hope they remember special stories we read together, silly songs we sung, funny games we made up, times we spent taking walks, riding bikes, playing at the park, visiting museums and other cool places that nourish their minds and bodies. I hope they remember us teaching them to use good manners, to show gratitude for the things they've been given, and to appreciate the blessings they have. I hope they know that money isn't everything and it doesn't make you happy despite all of the messages they are bombarded with from every angle in our society. I hope they know that nothing can compare to the time you spend with those you love and that their two parents love them more than anything in the world.

This time that I've been given to not only have my children but also to stay at home to take care of them has been the most precious gift I've been given. I know that I have taken that for granted from time to time. Also, I probably don't tell Chris enough how much I appreciate him for working so hard to allow his children to have their Mommy home with them. It is definitely a sacrifice for the both of us but I couldn't think of a better reason for it, oops 3 reasons! We certainly gain much, much more than we give up.